We all want to have freedom and the feeling that life is getting better all the time. We desire to live life to the fullest however it is easy for our desires to hit hurdles or roadblocks based on the choices and decisions we make every day.
The interesting thing is sometimes we may not even be aware of how our behaviours, through the choices and decisions we make, dictate the reality we create and what we experience each day. It’s the things that have become a part of our identity and who we have become that could be our biggest enemy.
Before I became a speaker, trainer and coach, one the biggest things holding me back was my shyness. Being an introvert, I struggled to speak in front of groups. In social settings, I felt awkward and out-of-place. I knew that if I wanted to have success in business, I had to get over my shyness and develop a new level of self-confidence. I found the right mentors and teachers and I did what I needed to so that I could be comfortable in front of a group. Although it took time to overcome my shyness, I stuck with it and stayed committed.
I would imagine that we all have things we need to let go or get over in order to be the best we can be. Here are ten things, that if you decided to let go, will dramatically improve what you experience every day and improve the quality of your life.
- Blaming others. It is so easy to pass the buck when things are not going the way we want it to. When we start to accept that almost everything we want in life is within our control, blaming others for our lack of results should not even be a consideration. As the saying goes, “If it is to be, it is up to me.”
- Making up excuses. Similar to the first point, when things don’t work out as planned, making up excuses like, it’s not the right time or the economy is slow right now or it wasn’t my fault is the easy way out. When we take responsibility for our results and for everything that happens in our life, we will stop making excuses and do what’s necessary to create the results we want.
- Comparing yourself to others. If you stop and think about it, when was the last time you compare yourself to someone and came out exactly the same? The chances are that has never happened. You either thought of yourself as better or worse than the person you were comparing yourself to. All comparing does is create separation between you and the other person. The key is to recognise that we’re all unique individuals and have unique gifts, skills and abilities and therefore we should stop comparing ourselves to others.
- Complaining or whining. I think we’ve all complained about something at some point in our lives. When we complain, what we’re really saying is we have a mental image of how we think something should be and we’re not prepared to take the risk to create it the way we would like it to be. Instead of taking the risk to do something about it, it is easier to complain about it. When we can drop complaining, we will free up so much mental energy that we waste when we complain about things.
- Having a bad attitude. Just as a positive attitude is infectious, the same is true if you have a negative attitude. As we do not like to be around people who are pessimistic most of the time, the same is true for others not wanting to be around us if we’re pessimistic. Having a bad attitude or being negative most of the time does use up a lot of our energy. It is so much easier to be in a joyous state and look for the best in things and experiences.
- Being resentful. Being resentful can be a symptom of jealousy especially of other people’s successes. We can also be resentful being of what others may have done to us. When we are resentful, we are putting our attention and focus on things from the past rather than putting attention and focus on what we want to create. Once again, being resentful uses up valuable mental energy which otherwise can be directed to something more beneficial to us.
- Being impatient. We tend to live in an immediate gratification society now. And when we don’t get the outcomes we want, when we expect them, it is so easy to start getting impatient, resentful or complain about why it’s not happening for us. What that does is to put our focus on what we don’t have yet rather than keeping it on what we would like to create. Good things do come to those who are patient.
- Not being grateful. Being in a state of gratitude immediately makes us appreciate all the good we do have in our life. If you’re reading this, chances are very high that you have a lot of good things happening in your life. One of my mentors once said, ”The more we are grateful for, the more we will be given to be grateful for.”
- Having a sense of entitlement. The belief that we’re entitled to anything we want without putting in the necessary work is a major cause of frustration, disappointment and loss of hope. When we let go of this notion that we can get something for nothing, it should hopefully inspire us to do the work that is required to achieve success. Do the work and the rewards will come in due course. Be patient and drop the belief that you’re entitled to something.
- Getting stressed about things that are not important. Rather than getting caught up in things that are not important, it will serve us greatly if we’re able to let go of them and focus on what really matters to us. Having clear visions, goals and having an overall purpose in life will help us recognise what’s important and what’s not. Some things are just not worth getting stressed about.
We all want our lives to continuously improve whether that is better health, better relationships, better finances or simply more joy and happiness. When we start to let go of these things that could be hindering our progress, we will start to have a different experience of life.
Question: What is something you have let go of that has had a major effect on your life?
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