For a long time, I believed that people resist change. Having learnt about and experienced dealing with change myself, there was some truth to that belief.
As I learned more about psychology and understanding people’s behaviours, I’ve now got a new perspective. One of my mentors teaches that people don’t necessarily resist change when it’s their choice.
What we resist is being changed. When we think about, we go through and deal with change daily. Consider some of the things we change daily.
- We change our clothes daily.
- We change what we eat most days.
- We change when and how we travel to places.
- We change our conversations daily.
- We change what we work on or do daily.
Going through change is not the issue. The real challenge is our association to change and what we tell ourselves about it.
There is a common misunderstanding that highly successful people only do things they want to do and the things they enjoy.
While doing only the things they enjoy may be the ideal scenario, the reality is they still have to do things they don’t necessary enjoy or want to, but have to.
Albert E. N. Gray, who wrote “The Common Denominator of Success,” said that successful people are successful because they form the habits of doing those things that failures don’t like to do.
Instead of focusing on what we don’t like about a particular task or activity, it’s more beneficial to turn it into a new habit so we don’t have to give a lot of conscious thought to it as we do it.
We all have things we’d prefer not to do and the longer we keep putting them off, the more likely we’ll start feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, unmotivated and unproductive.
The more things we can apply to make it easier for us to get these things done, the better state of mind we’ll be in and the better we’ll feel about ourselves.
We’re constantly dealing with demands in our personal and professional lives from the moment we wake up each day.
We have home demands such as dealing with family needs and getting prepared for work. We also have work demands, which include dealing with customers, team members and colleagues.
If we don’t protect ourselves or set proper boundaries, we can:
- Easily feel overwhelmed.
- Be pulled in many directions which may affect how we work.
- Take longer to complete things.
- Become emotionally drained.
- Perform below what we’re capable of.
What Does Setting Boundaries Mean?
- Saying “no” and knowing how to say it in the right context.
- Knowing when it’s time to work and when it’s not.
- Being clear about our priorities.
- Being able to communicate clearly to others and set the right expectations.
Learning to set healthy boundaries can save us time and help us be at our best more consistently.
There is a universal truth which states that we experience our greatest growth in life when we go beyond what we’re familiar and comfortable with.
As nothing stays the same over time and as things constantly evolve or change, if we’re not growing, that means we’re going backwards or dying.
The more we’re able to step outside what we’re comfortable with, the more growth we’ll experience. While intentionally challenging ourselves to take more risks is beneficial, we also do have to be mindful about being responsible and not putting ourselves at risk.
There is a difference between taking risks and being at risk. If we put ourselves at risk, where our basic needs in life are not met, then it’s highly unlikely we’ll be in the right frame of mind to be creative or overcome our challenges easily.
Being able to put ourselves in situations which we know will challenge us and cause us to grow has to become part of who we are and how we live.
Making myself exercise is a battle I have daily. Some days, I’m highly motivated, whereas on other days, I prefer to do something else instead of exercising.
Having gone through a period where I was not exercising consistently, which resulted in significant weight gain, I have now conditioned myself to do some form of physical activity daily.
It’s rare that I will miss a day, which may be because I have an appointment which requires me to leave home early. On those days, I do notice the difference in how I feel throughout the day.
There are various research and advice on when the best time is to exercise, how often should we exercise, how long we should exercise for, and what types of exercises we should do.
We should always get proper medical advice whenever we make any drastic changes to our exercise and diet plan. I personally prefer to exercise in the morning because I’m an early riser so in this article, I share my thoughts on why it’s best to exercise in the morning.
On the down side, not exercising at all can cause us to:
- Feel lethargic and not as motivated as we would like to be.
- Result in physical challenges.
- Not be at our best or do our best work.
- Have low levels of energy.
- Not feel good about ourselves.
The importance of doing some form of exercise or physical activity on a consistent basis cannot be emphasises enough.
We all go through highs and lows in life, and it’s the low times that’s often intense and emotionally draining.
How we deal with periods of intensity, before, during and after, has a major impact on all aspects of our lives.
What Classifies as an Intense Time?
An intense time may include:
- A career change.
- A relocation.
- A major project that we’re working on.
- Meeting deadlines or expectations.
- End of a relationship.
- A major illness.
- Loss of a loved one.
The reality is life will go on and we’ll have new priorities to focus on. The better we’re able to recover, refresh and refocus on what needs to be done next, the easier it’ll be on us mentally, emotionally and physically.
It has often been said that first impression is everything whenever we meet and interact with someone for the first time.
The saying, “You will not get a second chance to make a good first impression” still holds true today but there are ways we can recover if we’ve blown our chance initially.
Consider these scenarios:
- Going for a job interview.
- Presenting a business proposal.
- Giving a sales presentation.
- Meeting the parents or family of your significant other for the first time.
- Going to a social or business networking event.
In each of those situations, the impression we make first plays a significant part in whether we achieve our objective or not.
The good news is it’s easy to leave a good first impression and it won’t take much effort at all to get it right.
Our mental and emotional health controls our daily experiences and has a major influence on our quality of life.
If we’re not mentally and emotionally healthy, not only will we tend to have some turmoil in life, we will also find it harder to cope with things that happen to us.
Mental health is becoming a more widely accepted area of focus now than it has been in the past. We’re becoming more aware that unless we’re healthy mentally, we cannot be healthy emotionally and physically.
If we consider the mind and body connection, it has been known that whenever we have a problem in our body, there’s a good chance we also have a problem in our mind.
Mental health refers to how well we use our mind through the thoughts we think and the images we hold in our minds. The thoughts and images we hold in our minds dictates our emotional state, which in turn, affects our physical state.
One of my mentors says that we cannot do positive things or make intelligent decisions if we’re in a negative emotional state.
When we’re healthy mentally and emotionally, we will:
- Be in a better mood daily.
- Not let problems slow us down.
- Find it easier to do what needs to be done.
- Not be as easily affected by other people’s actions.
- Be a lot more relaxed and happier.
It’s up to us to learn how to improve our mental and emotional health.
The thought of doing silly things as an adult, especially in a professional setting, is not something most people would not dare to do.
As we grow older, the aliveness and vibrancy we had as kids is often replaced by our desire to be liked, accepted and respected by those we interact with regularly. Saying the right things and behaving professionally becomes our focus most of the time.
If we happen to do something that is outside our normal behaviour, it can often cause others to question if everything is okay with us.
There is an inner child in all of us that likes to have fun. The more we subdue our inner child, the harder it becomes for us to relax and be our true selves.
The good thing about being silly, while being aware and respectful of the situation or context we’re in, is that it will:
- Make us feel more courageous.
- Boost our self-confidence.
- Make us more likeable and attractive.
- Help us experience more joy in our daily interactions.
- Cause us to feel good about ourselves and our life.
As lack of confidence often prevents people from going after what they really want, we can start boosting our confidence by doing silly things and having fun in the process.
Have you ever met someone who is all excited about something they want to achieve in life, only to find that they’re onto a new thing in a relatively short period of time?
It has been said that in order to achieve a dream, we must have a dream in the first place. While some people have lots of dreams, they also easily abandon those dreams for numerous reasons.
While on the surface it may not seem like a big deal to give up on a dream and move onto something else, there are some long-term psychological effects that may hinder our future efforts.
When we quit on our dreams, it can:
- Reduce our self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Make us not trust ourselves as much.
- Lose trust and respect with others.
- Lower our motivation to take appropriate action.
- Make us feel like we’ve failed.
Becoming aware of the things that can cause us to abandon our dreams is important if we want to achieve bigger and better dreams in life.