5 Things You Need To Know To Become A More Assertive Person

How to Grow Your Confidence and Become a Better Person

Our level of assertiveness is closely linked to our level of confidence and our willingness to take bold action.

The more assertive we are, the more confidence we’ll develop, which in turn, will help us do what we need to in order to achieve the results we want.

There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. A person who’s assertive usually is:

  • Self-assured or secure with who they are.
  • Confident in what they do.
  • Clear about the decisions they need to make.
  • Persistent when it comes to achieving their goals.

Being overly aggressive, on the other hand, usually comes across as trying to exert power over others, which most times, alienates a person from those they are communicating with.

Knowing how to become more assertive, while being respectful of others, will help us get the results we want a lot easier without the need to force things to happen.

Ways to grow your confidence and become a better person

As I am an introvert on most occasions, trying to be more assertive was challenging for me. Not being assertive, especially in group situations, prevented me from speaking up and sharing what was on my mind and important to me. Lack of assertiveness resulted in me being overlooked for a number of promotions during my working career.

As I improved my communication skills and learned more about myself, my confidence also increased, which helped me say what I wanted to in group or social settings. Changing from a corporate career to running a coaching and training business left me no option but to be more assertive and confident when communicating with others.

What I learned over the years is that the more assertive we are, the more we’ll challenge ourselves to become better at what we do.

5 Things That Will Make You More Assertive

  1. Become better at making decisions. We are always making decisions with regard to what we think is best for us at any given moment. Decision-making is a skill which can be improved just like any other skill. As we get better at making decisions, our confidence will grow and it will be a lot easier to choose things that will move us forward in life.
  2. Have a high level of clarity in everything you do. The quality of our lives is in proportion to the level of clarity we have about who we are, what we’re really meant to do in life and how best we can create the life we want. Clarity gives us a sense of assurance, which in turn, helps us be more assertive when it comes to choosing things that’s best for us.
  3. Improve how you show up each day. The way we present ourselves, from the way we dress and our body language, has an effect on how we feel about ourselves. If we improve in those areas, then we’ll develop more confidence and gradually become more assertive.
  4. Enhance your communication skills. Our communication skills affects other people’s perception of us. If we have poor communication skills, then it’s very likely other people will not think of us as highly compared to if we had strong communication skills. Improving our vocabulary will lead to better oral communication, which in turn, can help us be more self-confident, self-assured and assertive.
  5. Associate with other assertive people. As we become like the people we spend most of our time with, a good way to accelerate our development in any area is to be around people who have the qualities we want to develop. Their influence on us will have a positive effect and shorten our learning curve.

There are numerous advantages for becoming more assertive, and over the long run, we’ll see significant improvements not just within ourselves, but also in our results. This will lead to us feeling a lot better about ourselves and also be much happier in life. If we’re willing to do the work to become more assertive, we will reap the rewards later.

Action Step: Choose one thing from the list above and apply it daily for the next two weeks. Notice the difference it makes to your daily experiences. With time, continue adding the other things as you continue to become a more assertive person.

Question: What is another thing we can do to become more assertive?

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