5 Destructive Lies That Makes It Difficult To Be Confident

We’ve all bought into ideas or opinions that we later found to be blatant lies. While the people who shared those ideas and opinions may have meant well, unfortunately they did not help build our confidence.

While we cannot always be immune to other people’s ideas and opinions, we must be cautious in what we’re buying into because if we start believing most things we hear, not only will it decrease our confidence, it can also:

  • Limit our thinking in terms of what’s possible for us.
  • Keep us where we are because we may be hesitant to challenge ourselves.
  • Affect our interactions with those around us.

The sooner we become aware of what some of these lies are, the quicker we can acquire new perspectives so that we can move past them.

One idea that I later became aware was a lie was that in order to be in a profession that helped people improve their lives, I had to be successful first. I interpreted that as I needed to have achieved external success first before I was “qualified” to help people. That belief or lie kept me from fully sharing my desire to inspire and empower others to be the best they could be, and it certainly affected how many people I could serve. The fact that I was also young when I got started in the profession didn’t go in my favour, so I thought at that time.

I was able to turn it around when I heard a mentor say that if our intention is to serve people, then it doesn’t matter how old or young we are, or how much experience or success we have. All we should do is focus on being of service and trust in our ability to make a difference. Buying into this new belief has helped me acquire the experience and the success I originally thought I needed to have, which has enabled me to serve more people.

The lies we have bought into originated in a number of different ways but most times, it happened in our childhood. We acquired these lies from those who had the most influence on us, mainly our parents, relatives, grandparents and early teachers. Here are five lies that may be affecting our confidence and holding us back from doing what we want and live the life we want. The sooner we can let go of these lies, the better our experience of life will be.

  1. You have to be in the right place at the right time to be successful. This lie results in us hoping for that “next big thing” or that “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” The truth is opportunities are always around us. The key is being aware of those opportunities and knowing we are in the right place at the right time. The way to overcome this lie is to constantly focus on developing ourselves in order to acquire new empowering ideas and beliefs that will move us towards what we want.
  2. In order to be brave, you must not be afraid. We all have fears and those fears are in proportionate to our level of awareness. The more aware we are, the bigger the fears we are able to face. We will always have fears but that should not stop us from taking action. In order to be brave, we must be willing to take action despite our fears. It doesn’t mean we are not afraid. It means we acknowledge we are afraid but will not allow our fear to hold us back.
  3. In order to be successful, you always have to work hard. While it is true that success does require work, one key distinction is that we can leverage the effort of others and technology to be successful a lot easier and faster. We don’t always have to be the one who does the work. This is why it is important to have a support network or team around us. We can choose to delegate tasks that may not be the best use of our time, and focus on the things we do best and where we can add the most value. This is the hallmark of an intelligent person who understands the real meaning of working hard.
  4. Being busy equates to being productive. Most of us are busier than we’ve ever been but how much of that busyness is actually moving us forward towards what we want? As one of my mentors says, “We can be doing busy work or we can be doing our life’s work.” Just because we have a lot of activities going on, it doesn’t always mean we are being productive. One way to gauge whether we are doing meaningful work is to assess how we feel at the end of a working day. If we feel good about the day we’ve had, chances are we’ve made progress. If we don’t feel good but were still busy, then chances are we did not do meaningful work that day.
  5. It’s too late to make a change. Sometimes we feel time is not on our side or we’ve invested too much into something to make a change now. Unless we’re prepared to do something different, our reality will still be the same. One simple example is an adult wanting to start a new career but it will take them up to five years to acquire the appropriate skills, knowledge and experience. They can look at that and say that it will take too long. Unfortunately, time will pass by, and if they haven’t committed to starting the new career, in five years time, they still will be where they are currently. The lesson is it is never too late and often, now is the perfect time to make that change.

What we are prepared to do or not do is a reflection of our beliefs, and if those beliefs are limiting us in any way, then it is time to do something about it. Most of our limiting beliefs are lies either others have told us or we’ve allowed ourselves to buy into. If we don’t eliminate these lies from our lives, then chances are we won’t have the courage and confidence to pursue what we want in life.

Action Step: Evaluate some of the lies you have been telling yourself and ask, “Are those lies helping me move closer towards what I want in life?” If they are not, then that is your opportunity to start adopting new ideas.

Question: What is another destructive lie that can also affect our confidence?

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